I want to thank you...

I am working at another store's grand opening this weekend! This time, in Manhattan, so I'll actually have to stay there rather than drive back and forth like the last one. I am REALLY EXCITED because my DCI connection will be there too, and this is right around the time when she told me there might some opportunities opening with the company. Trying to decide where to move. for some reason, Austin keeps seeming like the best choice. Austin or Seattle. I just got my tax return back, so I suppose that I should use that money to go visit both.

Anyway, Jake and I broke up. I've been spending my time recently making up for lost time going out and drinking with girlfriends, out to bars, drinking. I've been out probably 6 nights a week out of 7.

They've been having me train people as well as sending me to other stores to rework an island that the president wasn't happy with or to work grand openings. Today, the store's assistant manager said that she'd heard a lot of good things about me, that there's always something for them to fix and I said oh, Steph hasn't liked some of the stuff I've done too and she said 'Well that's hard to believe'. So they talk to other stores about me. That I am young, but really good at it. And then she told me the island looks the best that she has ever seen it, even when the cheese specialist worked on it.



Maybe I should start looking at rising to the top corporate cheese specialist as an actual possibility.... but at the same time, i'm just in a little district, where they are easy to please. So I don't know if things would completely flop, I wouldn't be nearly as good etc etc at a new store in a new district.
I don't know.



I went into on my day off today, giving me a grand total of 11 hours overtime this week. It's justifiable to buy myself a pair of expensive shoes that I have wanted for a while........ right?

I am extremely pissed off/upset about my car. It's not fair that some goddamned idiot hits me and barely has bumper damage and does more damage to my car than my car is worth so his insurance company tells me its totaled. If I AM NOT THE ONE THAT HIT SOMEONE ELSE, I should not be the one being completely fucked here. I haven't had my car for a fucking week now and they haven't given me a fucking rental either. The amount of money that they'll give me, I KNOW will not be what my car is actually worth, and I won't be able to buy a car that's as new as mine was.



I am so fucking upset and I am sick of having to catch a ride from someone or take Jake's car, and then he doesn't have one, but its fucking cold and I am not riding my bike to work on the complete other side of town.


I hope the guy who hit me has the worst fucking karma.

GYAD the bump/lump on the back of my monroe is MAKING ME MAD. GO AWAY ALREADY.

I am legitimately really upset. Two of my Black Milk leggings have disappeared. One, I haven't seen for a while, bu the other, I had folded, and on top of my desk in my room. I know exactly where they are. Even Jake knew that they were there. I have NOT moved them. But they aren't there any more. Our landlord is fucking crazy, so I think that he might be more creepy than I thought, and stole them. I don't have any proof, but he's the ONLY person who has been in our apartment unsupervised. I am really, really upset. Not only were they expensive, but they're fucking discontinued, and I can't replace them.


Fuck.

I keep seeming to have never ending bills since I got back from France. Car insurance. Car registration. Utilities switch over fees. Kansas drivers license. Replacement car title because the asshole there kept mine. Student loan. Huge dentist bill.HUGE. And now I have to take Dax to the vet because I think she has kitty acne, and she's scratched it to the point of bleeding and therefore could have an infection. And of course there's regular rent, utilities, gas for the car, cell phone, and food bills.




I. Hate. Money.

Sangria is just over a Euro here.


Got sunburnt at the beach. My period started EXACTLY as we were landing here.... Great fucking timing body. Have had shorty cramps most of the day.
Hostel in Amsterdam was way better than here. This ones not bad, judtcextremely minimum. Has a fridge that I get to keep my Roquefort in!

I think that I do not want to live Kansas after this year. The district deli specialist was really positive about this trip opening a lot up for me, and thinking about it, getting into cheese importing could be really cool. Travel. New things.
I have just encountered more fucking assholes in the past year than I have in a long, long time. And it's the type of assholes, I think. Spoiled rotten assholes who are used to getting everything they want, and using any means possible to get them. Especially ruining other peoples lives.


Moving out has been horrible. We've been under heat warnings, with it around 110 to 105 every fucking day. Hot, carrying shit, packing shit.... fuck. I just have a little bit left to get out, and then I have to clean the carpets and floors and i'm done. Fucking done with that place. Just have to do that, and not get bit by a brown recluse. I just want to be done with there.

Took Dax to friends last night too. She's going to hate me after being gone for two weeks, and I'm comforting myself with the thought that it will all be better after I get back and am in my new place, where I won't be afraid to sleep.

So, fuck Summer. So much. Fuck my landlord and FUCK my apartment. August is going to be awesome. It will start in Europe, move onto a new apartment, going blonder, MY BOSS QUIT (I FUCKING HATE HER), Jake and I will have been dating for a year, NO MORE SUMMER FUCKING EVER AGAIN.... yep, August will be good

Fourth of July this year: worst that happened was I got my finger smashed in a door.


Jake played a show, that I AM SO RELIEVED FOR THAT SHIT TO BE DONE WITH. It was good, and probably hte most money I've ever spent at a bar, hah. Someone was legit surprised when I told them that I was nowhere near naturally blonde. Guess I pull it off? Weird to not have any bright colors.

Pre-fourth of July, we went on a party bus with the the lead singer of the Get Up Kids. i guess another band kept referring to me as 'that cute little girl'. I never feel little. I feel pretty huge all of the time.





Two weeks off of work is going to kill me when I go back, holy fuck. Three days makes it almost unbearable. A week in Europe? Fuck, I'm going to be so unhappy with being at Dillons when I come back haha

I am freaking out kind of, and I can't pinpoint where, but kind of feel like I am going to have a panic attack about everything that I have to do in the next month. My heart feels weird, I keep hiccuping and feeling a LITTLE better, but right below my ribs, so I guess it feels like the core of my being, is all knotted up and tight feeling and making me really uncomfortable.

I have to:
1) pack everything. Wouldn't be so terrible, if my place were not infested with brown recluses.
2) cancel utilities (westar, black hills, city of lawrence)
3) get carpets cleaned
4) check out of apartment
5) find somewhere to store all of my shit for the two weeks that I'm going to be gone
6) find reliable person to watch Dax, who is going to hate me, and I'm a bad owner, for two weeks
7) get hostels and flights all booked
-my debit card, I'm pretty sure the bank is suspecting fraudulent charges, because it let me buy two things for Europe, before blocking me off on two different websites. Annoying, and too late for customer service to be open to figure out whats wrong
-which leads to: I booked everything except my last getting back to Paris WHICH I FEEL IS ONE OF MOST IMPORTANT BECAUSE IF I MISS THERE, I MISS FLIGHT BACK TO US.
- so, panicking
8) get instructions to and from every hostel/hotel, down to a T, and print (because I freak the fuck out if I don't have the instructions DIRECTLY DOWN)
-I don't have a printer
9) buy a new camera
10) get to Cincinati. Get to Europe. Travel safe all over Europe. Get everywhere easily and on time.
11) when I get back, get everything and move into new apartment.
12) get my own, new car insurance
13) register my car in Kansas
14) pay rent
15) write EVERY SINGLE THING chick could need while I'm gone at work for two weeks. which is A LOT OF STUFF. I had to make it up for FIVE days the one time I had three days off. My island is going to be in UTTER disrepair and a disaster when I get back. And that will take a LONG time to fix


Freaking out. This is too much to have to do. I can't do anything about calling the bank right now and I think thats what set off the stressing the fuck out. AGH AGH AGH
14) get a Kansas drivers license